Watch the signs

A policeman pulled over two nuns riding on a motorcycle, and said to the rider,

"Ma'am, you're driving much too slowly, could you please drive faster?"
"Oh," said the nun. "I saw the sign with the '21' and assumed the speed limit

was 21 km/h"
The policeman sighed and explained:

"No ma'am, the speed limit is 80. The '21' means highway number 21."
Then the policeman looked at the other nun, the pillion rider, and saw that she was shaking like a leaf.
"Excuse me sister, but what's wrong with your passenger?"
"Oh, that's probably because we just got off Highway 205."

(lifted from Horsham HOG - hope they don't mind)

Q: You know, you can lead a horse to water.

But, how do you make a horse drink?

A: add water and put it in a giant blender ...... hmmm

Did you hear the one about the horse which got the 'flu?

It had a horse voice.

Mind your mind

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy , it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Some questions to ponder

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Does a mermaid wear an algebra?

Is there another word for synonym?

How is it possible to have a civil war?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why are rectal haemorrhoids called "rectal haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Hey - one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

*** You must surely have better stuff than this!

..... so why don't you contribute? ......

email me at: nmc76250@bigpond.net.au

A fundamentalist doubter attended a lecture and asked:

"If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?"
Indeed.

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